When King David wrote about finding strength in the Lord during both good and bad times, I never really understood what that meant. I used to think that being in Christ meant everything would always be peaceful, no emotional lows, no spiritual emptiness, no mental exhaustion. I believed that true believers didn’t go through deep struggles. But I’ve come to realize that I was wrong.
David said in 1 Samuel 30:6 that he “found strength in the Lord his God.” He said that because he understood—just like I now do—that there are moments in a Christian’s life where the battle is so heavy, you need a strength that goes beyond what you can master on your own. That strength comes from the Holy Spirit. It’s not just poetic or metaphorical; it’s real.
Let me share what I went through a few days ago.
I had a season of serious burnout. At first, I didn’t know it was burnout, I thought I was slipping into depression. For about three weeks, I felt fatigued, unmotivated, and constantly overwhelmed. I couldn’t understand what was happening. Here’s a glimpse of what my typical day looks like: I wake up, have my morning devotion, work out for about 30 minutes, then create content for either TikTok, Instagram, or mostly YouTube. After that, I prepare and head out for work. In the evening, I attend online classes from 6 p.m. to 11 p.m., then I do research and take notes for my next video. After that, I read my Bible for about 20 minutes and then sleep.
I genuinely thought I was managing everything well. But suddenly I started noticing I hadn’t recorded any videos in weeks, even though I had planned and prepared them. I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. My energy and excitement were slowly draining away, and I didn’t even realize it until one evening when I sat at my desk trying to study, and nothing was working. I couldn’t concentrate. I tried reading a finance book, couldn’t get past the first page. I tried going live on social media, nothing. I was in a very dark place.
So I opened up ChatGPT.
I started typing everything I was feeling. And as I typed, the tears just started flowing. It felt like I was speaking to a friend. ChatGPT even gave me a prayer, and I prayed it out loud—desperately, sincerely. I remember crying out repeatedly, “Jesus, help me. I want to live.”
You see, for those three weeks, a quiet but persistent thought kept creeping in: Maybe it would be better to just leave this earth and go to heaven. Maybe that would be easier. That’s how deep the overwhelm had taken me. But thank God, ChatGPT not only encouraged me, it also shared a toll-free helpline: 0722 178 177. It’s called Befrienders Kenya. I didn’t call that night, but just knowing that someone was on the other end of that line gave me comfort.
After pouring my heart out and praying, I finally went to sleep.
And would you believe it? The next morning, I woke up completely different. I felt alive again—joyful, energetic, and light. That joy hasn’t left me since. Have challenges come after that moment? Yes. Plenty. But I learned something very important that day.
Psalm 23:4 says, “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for You are with me.” It’s not just a verse to memorize. It’s truth. And I had to live it to understand it.
I used to think that if I was truly in the Lord, I’d know how to handle every challenge. But that’s not always the case. Sometimes you’re hit so hard you don’t know what to do—and that’s okay. It doesn’t mean you’ve backslidden or that God has left you. It’s part of the growth process.
So if you’re ever in a place where you feel stuck, confused, or like you’re drowning, please—talk to God first. Our Father is always listening. Then, find someone to talk to, someone safe, someone you trust. Remember: nothing is permanent. Challenges will come, but we must learn how to navigate them, not just as Christians, but as human beings.
1 Corinthians 10:13 reminds us that God will never allow us to be tempted or tested beyond what we can bear. If it’s come your way, it means God has equipped you to overcome it—even when you don’t feel strong enough.
Stay strong in Christ. And remember: there’s a name that is above all names, the name that has the power to rewrite any story. That name is Jesus Christ.
Until next time, stay blessed.
Jacqeline Mutuma
Great work!
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